{Note: This post contains affiliate links. Read disclosure here.}
Before you think I’m an absolute nutcase, let me tell you that we don’t really boycott Valentine’s Day. I guess that title was a bit of an exaggeration. We do acknowledge the holiday and celebrate in some way, shape, or form. Heck, even last year Savannah and I made Valentine’s Day cookies!
But, The Teacher and I do boycott what our culture has done to Valentine’s Day. In other words, we keep it simple around here. We might exchange cards (although some years were handmade), give each other candy on occasion (Twizzlers anyone?), and sometimes go out for a meal together (we are perfectly content with fast food), but we keep it very low-key. We are both totally okay with that…really. Here are our 3 reasons why.
It’s too expensive
Let’s face it, our nation’s economy is based on spending money. It’s sad when Christmas has barely ended and stores already have Valentine’s Day candy on their shelves. I enjoy flowers (although they really aren’t my love language), but I would probably punch The Teacher in the arm if he gave me flowers on Valentine’s Day. They jack up the prices because they know people will spend the money.
Companies do a fantastic job convincing us we deserve that special Valentine’s Day gift and that we are worth the sometimes hefty price tag. I am all about gift-giving, but I don’t like feeling like we must spend a lot of money to express how we feel. If you want to give a lavish gift, by all means, do so, but don’t feel pressured. And that brings me to my next point.
It’s too much pressure
This pressure can be felt on both sides. For the gift-giver, you might feel stressed at the thought of trying to pick a gift that will express your love exquisitely. This is the one holiday that is built around showing your romantic side, so you can’t mess it up or you’ll be hearing about it for months.
For the gift-receiver, there is this built up expectation that is almost always never met. There is no way our real-life loved ones are going to be able to execute exactly as we dreamed they should (or at least how it’s done in the Hallmark movies). And I’m not hatin’ on the Hallmark movies because we all know I love ’em. There’s just this added pressure on Valentine’s Day that simply doesn’t exist on any other day of the year.
It’s too predictable
Our culture has done a decent job of showing us how to “do” Valentine’s Day. We buy a nice gushy card, leave some chocolates by the pillow in the morning, and then end the day with a fancy dinner and a romantic date. Where is the spontaneity in that? I’m not opposed to those gestures, but it’s too predictable and it’s totally possible to go through those motions with practically no thought behind them. And why do we feel we can’t do these sorts of things all throughout the year?
Here’s the thing, I am a huge proponent of love. In fact, I’m quite the hopeless romantic. I love a good love story and I happen to love my husband very much! But, I think we set ourselves up for disappointment when (or if) we feel the need to celebrate in the way that someone else tells us we should.
So, if you are tired of all the money, pressure, and predictability surrounding the holiday, here are 3 ways you can boycott Valentine’s Day too!
1. Set a realistic budget
I am not against gift-giving…really, I promise! Don’t feel the need to spend tons of money (and please don’t go into debt for it) to buy a lavish present for your loved one. Determine what you can spend based on your budget and then get creative. If you choose to give a gift, study your loved one and pick something they may have mentioned in passing or something you think they will love based on things they’ve said or told you. There’s also nothing wrong with a homemade gift. One year, The Teacher made me a short video with PowerPoint slides and I really appreciated the time and effort he put into it.
2. Feel free to forego gifts altogether
Figure out your loved one’s love language and speak it to them. If they love jewelry and flowers, then go for it. But, if they feel loved the most by sitting on the couch and talking for an hour, then be willing to do that too. Think outside the box and take the time to communicate love to them in the way they like to receive it most. Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Languages* is an excellent read if you need some help with this.
3. Choose to express love every day
I would recommend you acknowledge the day in some fashion, even if it’s really small, but I think it’s much more romantic to show love in the everyday. Talk is so cheap these days, and it’s “easy” to show love on a holiday where we begin seeing commercials as soon as the new year begins. There’s really no excuse to miss it! It’s much harder though, but a lot more meaningful, to consciously demonstrate love each and every day…in the mundane even. If you are like me, nothing speaks love more than someone unloading the dishwasher and cleaning up the kitchen.
* * * * * *
Do any of you boycott Valentine’s Day?
P.S. For more frugal family inspiration delivered to your inbox, subscribe to my email list here.
I could not agree more! But I can't say that because people think I am bitter about being single on Valentines Day. Not true. I LOVE valentines day. LOVE IT! I don't like what the hype has made it! For the past 3 years I have talked about love with the kids, we make cookies, we decorate with hearts, we plan ways to show love to others, and memorize verses that show us God's love! I love making valentines for my nephews and the kids and we have fun making pink pancakes for breakfast and heart shaped sandwiches for lunch! It doesn't have to be thing! Just a fun thing!
I hear you, Anne-Holly! I had Kev read over the post before I published it b/c I didn't want to sound like I was bitter or against love. Quite the opposite – I just think we should celebrate it every day and in smaller ways rather than always the grandiose! Those are great ideas for the kids! 🙂